"Move on"... The two inevitable words we hate to hear. And why wouldn't we? Moving on means changing routine; creating a different future than the one you so optimistically planned to go through with. It can be a quick snap of your fingers or a long, painful dragging of the reminder that things are going to have to be different. There are things in life that we want, that often contradict rather than coincide with the things we need. What you want is to live in a particular moment or state of being forever, but what you need is the harsh reality to slap you in the face with what is fate's way of giving you what is bound to happen anyway. You can't consistently deny fate, but the slower it takes to accept just means it's going to be harder for you to move on.
Now, I'm not talking about just relationships, although the term slides in pretty well with those in particular. But just this year, I went through an unfortunate series of events that prevented me from experiencing what I thought would be the most incredible experience of my life. I still have my regrets, and I can't go through my life saying that I'm glad it never happened but what I have accepted is the fact that it couldn't... It couldn't because it wasn't meant to. And I know that sounds really crazy, but I have belief that some force in the universe wouldn't have voided me of that opportunity had there been a legitimate reason for me to stay.
Anyway, it wasn't a relationship or even a specific person actually, but it broke my heart in a way I'd never thought possible. I was absolutely devastated for weeks at a time. I felt neglected, shattered; like a failure who could never win the game. And every little thing reminded me of it. I couldn't escape the pain I kept feeling because I wanted it so badly; I had it in my grasp and I let it slip away. I beat myself up about it for a really long time, and even today I think back and wonder "what if...?" but somehow, within all of those grieving emotions, I found a way to let myself move on.
I don't really know how I did it, to be completely honest, but suddenly I think the person who said "time heals all wounds" was really onto something. I mean, I surrounded myself with supportive people. People who understood that I was hurting but distracted me. People who brought positive energy around me and let me borrow that on the days I was feeling down. People who let me feel like a winner, even when I looked like a failure... Those are the things that kept me going. And I kept reminding myself - a foot in the door... That's all it is.
Life is life. It goes on, regardless of it being good or bad. Moving on is something we all have to endure, so just know that you're not the only one who's lost a loved one or got your heart broken. We all have to experience closure at some point in our lives. Sometimes, you'll have good days while others will have a bad day and vice-versa... But keep going! Your heart's still beating and the earth's still spinning, so there's nothing holding you back except yourself.
Maybe it is just a personal belief in fate that keeps me semi-optimistic about the future, but I hope to God no person ever goes through life avoiding inevitable closure. Believe in something, even if it's not fate. Believe in yourself. Moving on doesn't mean not trying or not succeeding, but taking a tragic change and turning it into grounds for bigger and better things.
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