Sweet disposition.

The act of patience is probably the hardest part of achieving solidarity and some unidentifiable stature of happiness. You spend your entire life; every waking minute; hoping to fufill any and all desirable expectations and pray to God that tomorrow won't be your last chance to be content with that. There's always one more thing you haven't done or one more person you haven't met or one more moment you haven't lived... How do you know when to be satisfied with what you've accomplished?

"We all die. The goal isn't to live forever. The goal is to create something that will."

Well, isn't that something? I've always thought it was okay to be selfish. That it was okay to strive to be the best you; to live every moment for yourself in spite of what others think; even if it meant compromising your integrity. But when you're gone - what happens? You're successful in your own eyes but you don't have anything else besides that pat on the back. Wouldn't you rather be known as selfless than selfish? Wouldn't you rather feel and love and hurt and cry; not because your afraid, but because those little moments mean more than just "it had to end and I'm not going to dwell on it".

I'd love to go through life with this ideal goal in mind and stop at nothing to achieve that and only that, but I can't. I refuse to contain my human emotions and pretend that life doesn't scare the shit out of me sometimes. Because it does, and I want it to.

I'm sure it's easy to say "I'm going to be happy", but the journey to that point will never be easy. And if that means treachery and heartache; so be it. If that means hurting myself because someone I love needs me to, then I'm going to do it. And if it means loving someone who deserves love in the best possible form, then I'm going to give it.

And I'm not going to regret a damn thing.